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How to Say How Are You in Italian: 15+ Expressions for Every Occasion

By SandorFebruary 20, 20269 min read

Quick Answer

The most common way to ask 'how are you' in Italian is 'Come stai?' (KOH-meh STAH-ee) for informal and 'Come sta?' (KOH-meh STAH) for formal. The versatile 'Come va?' works in both registers and is the safest choice for learners.

The Short Answer

The most common way to ask "how are you" in Italian is Come stai? (KOH-meh STAH-ee) for informal situations and Come sta? (KOH-meh STAH) for formal ones. If you want a single phrase that works everywhere, Come va? (KOH-meh VAH) is your safest bet because it sidesteps the formal/informal distinction entirely.

Italian is spoken by approximately 85 million people worldwide and is an official language in Italy, Switzerland, San Marino, and Vatican City, according to Ethnologue's 2024 data. What makes asking "how are you" in Italian distinctive is the language's deep-rooted formality system: the choice between tu (informal you) and Lei (formal you, always capitalized in writing) shapes every interaction from a coffee bar chat to a business meeting. Whether you're looking up "how are you in italian" for travel, study, or conversation, this guide covers everything you need.

"Italian phatic expressions (greetings and wellness inquiries) are not mere rituals. They serve as social calibrators, signaling the speaker's perceived relationship, respect level, and regional identity in a single utterance."

(Anna Wierzbicka, Cross-Cultural Pragmatics, Mouton de Gruyter)

This guide covers 15+ ways to ask "how are you" in Italian, organized by formality level, with pronunciation guides, example sentences, and the cultural context you need to use each one naturally.


Quick Reference: Italian "How Are You" Phrases at a Glance


Formal Expressions

When you need to show respect (with elders, in professional settings, or with strangers) Italian's formal register is essential. The key marker is using Lei (the formal "you," always capitalized in writing) instead of tu. The Accademia della Crusca, Italy's oldest linguistic authority, notes that the tu/Lei distinction remains one of the most socially significant features of modern Italian.

Come sta?

formal

/KOH-meh STAH/

Literal meaning: How do you stand? (formal)

Buongiorno, dottoressa Bianchi. Come sta?

Good morning, Dr. Bianchi. How are you?

🌍

The standard formal 'how are you.' Uses the 'Lei' conjugation. Essential with professors, doctors, elderly neighbors, clients, and anyone you address by title.

Come sta? is the formal counterpart to Come stai?, and the only difference is dropping the final -i, which shifts from the tu conjugation to the Lei conjugation. Despite this tiny change, the social signal is enormous. Using Come stai? with your boss or an elderly stranger can come across as presumptuous, while Come sta? communicates that you recognize the appropriate social distance.

In Italian business culture, you will typically use Lei until the other person explicitly invites you to switch to tu, a moment called dare del tu (giving the tu). Until that invitation comes, stick with Come sta?

Come si sente?

formal

/KOH-meh see SEHN-teh/

Literal meaning: How do you feel? (formal)

Come si sente oggi, signor Martini? Meglio di ieri?

How are you feeling today, Mr. Martini? Better than yesterday?

🌍

Goes beyond a greeting -- this genuinely asks about someone's physical or emotional state. Common in medical settings, when visiting someone who has been ill, or showing deep concern.

While Come sta? is a social greeting, Come si sente? asks about a person's actual condition. You would use this when visiting a friend in the hospital, checking on an elderly neighbor after an illness, or in any context where you are genuinely inquiring about someone's wellbeing rather than exchanging pleasantries.

🌍 Lei with a Capital L

In written Italian, Lei (formal you) is capitalized to distinguish it from lei (she). This convention appears in emails, letters, and formal documents. When an Italian writes "Come sta Lei?" versus "Come sta lei?" the meaning shifts from "How are you?" (formal, to the reader) to "How is she?" Getting this right in written communication shows real linguistic awareness.


Standard Everyday Expressions

These are the phrases you will hear and use most in daily Italian life. They work with friends, family, colleagues you know well, and in any casual setting.

Come stai?

casual

/KOH-meh STAH-ee/

Literal meaning: How do you stand? (informal)

Ciao, Marco! Come stai? È un po' che non ci sentiamo.

Hey, Marco! How are you? It's been a while since we've talked.

🌍

The go-to informal 'how are you.' Uses the 'tu' form. Use with friends, family, peers, and people your age in relaxed settings.

Come stai? is the phrase you will reach for most often. It uses the tu form, signaling familiarity and equality. One thing that surprises many learners: unlike in English-speaking cultures where "How are you?" often gets a reflexive "Fine, thanks," Italians, particularly in central and southern regions, may actually tell you how they are. Be prepared for a genuine answer about their day, their health, or the latest family drama.

The standard quick response is Bene, grazie, e tu? (Fine, thanks, and you?). Among close friends, you might hear Benissimo! (Great!), Così così (So-so), or even a theatrical Non mi lamentare (Can't complain) complete with a hand gesture.

Come va?

casual

/KOH-meh VAH/

Literal meaning: How does it go?

Ehi, come va? Come va il lavoro?

Hey, how's it going? How's work going?

🌍

Uniquely versatile because it uses the impersonal third person, avoiding the tu/Lei choice. Safe in almost any situation. Can be extended: 'Come va il lavoro?' (How's work?), 'Come va la famiglia?' (How's the family?).

Come va? is the Swiss Army knife of Italian wellness inquiries. Because the verb andare (to go) is conjugated in the third person here (literally "how does it go?" rather than "how do you go") it neatly sidesteps the tu/Lei dilemma. This makes it perfect for situations where you are unsure about the appropriate formality level: a new acquaintance, a friend's parent, or a shopkeeper you see regularly but do not know well.

You can extend it naturally by adding a topic: Come va il lavoro? (How's work going?), Come va la famiglia? (How's the family?), Come va con il nuovo appartamento? (How's it going with the new apartment?).

Tutto bene?

casual

/TOOT-toh BEH-neh/

Literal meaning: Everything well?

Ciao, tutto bene? Ti vedo un po' pensieroso.

Hey, everything okay? You look a bit pensive.

🌍

Works as both a casual greeting and a genuine check-in. The tone determines the meaning -- light and breezy as a greeting, concerned and earnest when you notice something is off.

Tutto bene? is beautifully dual-purpose. Said with a smile and a wave, it is a breezy greeting equivalent to "All good?" Said with a furrowed brow and a hand on someone's shoulder, it becomes a genuine expression of concern. Italians use it constantly, often chaining it after Ciao: Ciao, tutto bene?

The standard reply mirrors the question: Sì, tutto bene! or simply Tutto bene. For variety, you might hear Tutto a posto (Everything in order) or Sì, dai, bene (Yeah, you know, fine).

Tutto a posto?

casual

/TOOT-toh ah POH-stoh/

Literal meaning: Everything in place?

Ehi, tutto a posto? Ho saputo che hai avuto una giornata difficile.

Hey, everything alright? I heard you had a tough day.

🌍

Slightly more concerned than 'Tutto bene?' -- implies you are checking that things are sorted out or resolved. Common after someone has been through a stressful situation.

While Tutto bene? is general, Tutto a posto? carries a slightly more specific undertone: it asks whether everything is in order, suggesting there might have been a reason for things to be out of place. You would use it after someone has been dealing with a problem, moved apartments, or had a difficult day at work.


Casual and Slang Expressions

These phrases mark you as someone who has moved beyond textbook Italian. They are informal, expressive, and best used with friends and peers.

Come butta?

slang

/KOH-meh BOOT-tah/

Literal meaning: How does it throw?

Ehi, come butta? Che fai di bello stasera?

Hey, what's up? What are you doing tonight?

🌍

Colloquial slang common among younger speakers across Italy. Think of it as the Italian 'what's up?' -- casual, cool, and not for formal settings.

Come butta? is pure colloquial Italian. The verb buttare means "to throw," so the literal translation is amusingly nonsensical ("how does it throw?") but the meaning is simply "what's up?" or "how's it going?" You will hear it among friends at a bar, in university hallways, or in Italian films depicting everyday young adult life.

According to Treccani's online dictionary, this expression gained widespread popularity from the 1980s onward, particularly in northern and central Italy. It remains common among younger speakers today.

Che si dice?

slang

/keh see DEE-cheh/

Literal meaning: What is being said?

Che si dice di bello? Qualche novità?

What's the good word? Any news?

🌍

A casual 'what's new?' that works across Italy. Often extended to 'Che si dice di bello?' (What good is being said?). Implies curiosity about gossip or news.

Che si dice? literally asks "what is being said?", a nod to Italian culture's love of conversation, news, and, yes, a little gossip. The extended form Che si dice di bello? specifically asks for good news, adding that characteristic Italian optimism. Use it with friends when you want to catch up on the latest.

Come te la passi?

casual

/KOH-meh teh lah PAHS-see/

Literal meaning: How do you pass it?

Non ci vediamo da mesi! Come te la passi?

We haven't seen each other in months! How have you been?

🌍

More intimate than 'Come stai?' -- implies you are genuinely asking about someone's life over a period of time. Common when reconnecting with someone after a long absence.

This expression goes deeper than a routine greeting. When you say Come te la passi?, you are asking about someone's overall life situation, not just their current moment. It is the phrase you use when running into an old friend, calling a relative you have not spoken to in months, or catching up over a long dinner. The formal version, Come se la passa?, exists but is rarely used because the phrase itself implies closeness.


Regional Variations

Italy's regional diversity extends to how people ask "how are you." As linguistic historian Tullio De Mauro documented, regional dialects coexisted with standard Italian for centuries and continue to color everyday speech. A 2015 Istat survey found that over 30% of Italians still use dialect in family settings.

Northern Italy

In the north (Milan, Turin, Venice, Bologna) interactions tend to be slightly more reserved and efficient. The standard Come stai? and Come va? dominate. Northern Italians often favor brevity: a quick Tutto bene? accompanied by a nod is perfectly natural. In Venetian dialect, you might hear Come xétu? (koh-meh ZEH-too) or Come stàtu?, though these are increasingly rare among younger speakers.

🌍 The North-South Warmth Gradient

Italian linguists sometimes describe a "warmth gradient" running from north to south. Northern greetings tend to be efficient and contained. Central Italian greetings are warm but measured. Southern greetings are theatrical, effusive, and may involve extended physical contact: a hand on your arm, a pat on the back, or a prolonged double cheek kiss. Understanding this spectrum helps you calibrate your own greeting style to the region you are in.

Central Italy (Rome, Tuscany)

Romans have their own flavor. You will hear Come stai? but also the characteristically Roman Come te la passi? and Tutto a posto? Romanesco (Roman dialect) adds expressions like Come te butta?, a regional twist on the standard Come butta? Romans also tend to combine greetings into longer chains: Ciao, come stai? Tutto bene? Che si dice?, all delivered in rapid succession before the other person has a chance to answer any of them.

Southern Italy and Sicily

In Naples, Calabria, and Sicily, asking "how are you" is not a formality; it is an event. Neapolitan dialect offers Comm' staje? (kohm STAH-yeh) and Comm' va? (kohm VAH). Sicilian speakers might use Comu stai? (KOH-moo STAH-ee) or Comu ti senti? (How do you feel?).

Southern Italian greetings are typically accompanied by physical gestures: a hand on the shoulder, a squeeze of the arm, or an embrace. The response is rarely a quick Bene. Expect a genuine, sometimes lengthy account of family health, work struggles, and neighborhood news. This warmth is one of the things that makes southern Italian culture so beloved.


How to Respond to "How Are You" in Italian

Knowing the question is half the equation. Here is how to respond naturally across different situations.

Positive Responses

ItalianPronunciationEnglishWhen to Use
Bene, grazie!BEH-neh, GRAH-tsee-ehFine, thanks!Universal default response
Molto bene!MOHL-toh BEH-nehVery well!When things are genuinely going well
Benissimo!beh-NEES-see-mohGreat! / Wonderful!Enthusiastic, positive mood
Tutto bene!TOOT-toh BEH-nehAll good!Casual, reassuring
Alla grande!AHL-lah GRAHN-dehFantastic!Informal, upbeat

Neutral and Negative Responses

ItalianPronunciationEnglishWhen to Use
Non c'è malenohn cheh MAH-lehNot badPolite understatement
Così cosìkoh-ZEE koh-ZEESo-soHonest, middle ground
Insomma...een-SOHM-mahWell... / So-soSignals things could be better
Non mi posso lamentarenohn mee POHS-soh lah-mehn-TAH-rehCan't complainSelf-deprecating, common among older speakers
Potrebbe andare megliopoh-TREHB-beh ahn-DAH-reh MEH-lyohCould be betterHonest but restrained

The Echo-and-Return Strategy

The most natural pattern in Italian is to answer briefly and immediately return the question:

  • Bene, grazie, e tu? (Fine, thanks, and you?), informal
  • Bene, grazie, e Lei? (Fine, thanks, and you?), formal

This "echo and return" keeps the conversation flowing and shows genuine interest in the other person, a core value in Italian social interaction.

💡 The Tu/Lei Quick Decision Guide

Use tu (Come stai?) with: friends, family, children, peers your age, anyone who has given you permission.

Use Lei (Come sta?) with: strangers, elders, professionals (doctors, lawyers, professors), anyone with a title, shopkeepers you do not know well.

Use Come va? when: you are unsure, it is your first time meeting someone in a semi-casual context, or you simply want to avoid the decision altogether.

When in doubt, start with Lei. Italians will quickly tell you Dammi del tu! (Use tu with me!) if they prefer informality.


The Italian Double Greeting Culture

One of the most distinctive features of Italian social interaction is the double greeting, combining multiple phrases into a single warm exchange. Where an English speaker might say "Hey, how are you?", an Italian will often deliver a cascade:

Ciao, come stai? Tutto bene? Che si dice?

This is not three separate questions expecting three separate answers. It is a single, fluid greeting that expresses warmth and genuine interest. The expected response addresses just the general thrust: Bene, bene, tutto a posto. E tu?

Research in cross-cultural pragmatics by Brown and Levinson confirms that Italian greeting patterns prioritize positive face, making the other person feel valued and attended to. The more phrases you stack, the more warmth you communicate.


Practice With Real Italian Content

Reading about these phrases builds knowledge, but hearing them spoken naturally by native speakers is what cements them in your memory. Italian cinema and television offer endless examples, from the formal Come sta, dottore? in medical dramas to the rapid-fire Come butta? in youth-oriented comedies.

Wordy lets you watch Italian movies and shows with interactive subtitles. Tap on any greeting phrase to instantly see its meaning, pronunciation, formality level, and cultural context. Instead of memorizing phrases from a list, you absorb them from authentic conversations with natural intonation and body language.

For more Italian content, explore our blog for guides including the best movies to learn Italian. You can also visit our Italian learning page to start practicing with real content today.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the most common way to say how are you in Italian?
'Come stai?' (KOH-meh STAH-ee) is the most common informal way. For formal situations, use 'Come sta?' (KOH-meh STAH). If you are unsure about formality, 'Come va?' works in virtually any context because it avoids the tu/Lei distinction entirely.
What is the difference between 'Come stai?' and 'Come sta?'
'Come stai?' uses the informal 'tu' form and is for friends, family, and peers. 'Come sta?' uses the formal 'Lei' form and is for strangers, elders, professionals, and anyone you want to show respect to. The difference is just one syllable but it communicates your entire relationship dynamic.
How do you respond to 'Come stai?' in Italian?
The standard response is 'Bene, grazie, e tu?' (Fine, thanks, and you?). Other natural responses include 'Non c'è male' (Not bad), 'Tutto bene' (All good), or 'Benissimo' (Great). Close friends may give longer, more honest answers.
Is 'Come va?' formal or informal in Italian?
'Come va?' is uniquely versatile because the verb 'andare' (to go) is conjugated in the third person impersonal form, not with 'tu' or 'Lei.' This means it sidesteps the formality question entirely. You can use it with a professor or a friend, making it the safest option for learners.
Do Italians actually want to know how you are, or is it just a greeting?
It depends on the context. In quick encounters like shops or passing acquaintances, 'Come stai?' functions as a greeting and expects a brief 'Bene, grazie.' But among friends and family -- especially in southern Italy -- Italians genuinely want to hear how you are doing and may give detailed, heartfelt answers.

Sources & References

  1. Accademia della Crusca — Italian language research and guidelines
  2. Treccani — Enciclopedia e Vocabolario online
  3. Ethnologue: Languages of the World, 27th edition (2024)
  4. Wierzbicka, A. — Cross-Cultural Pragmatics (Mouton de Gruyter)

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